Darlington Darling

This morning, all full of fear and trembling
Constituents were assembling
With quotes from Mr. Angus Ried in hand
Joe Clark struck up the band for a televised love-in link-up
Wherein average folks could think up ways to save our troubled land.
Then later, three trucks with big antennas
Folks dressed like Frank McKenna's
And cub reporters showed up on my lawn
Flashbulbs shook the dawn and a teleprompter told me
To speak the words out boldly for a CanSave telethone.
I think I love you, can they hear that out in Moosejaw
Here's a simple guy from Oshawa
With a heaping homespun hunk of national pride
I think I love you, get some makeup on the neighbours...
It's a humble, folksy plea...pick it up on camera three...
They gave me coffee and made me sit with others
Whom, if they'd had their druthers would rather be home watching NFL
But I guess it's just as well that we find a common zeitgeist
Before Preston pulls a seat-heist in a parliament from hell.
The CanSave satellite send word from downtown Gander
Where folks refused to pander to ultimatums sent by Neighbour Kim
We were about to pack it in when our Brian started prayin'
Let's all act like Sir John A. - in other words, let's hit the gin.
Then came Alberta with a message from the Saddledome
Said Canada's their true home
There's just some slight instructions for us all
They'd like to build a massive wall, top it with a bubble, pronto
So they could call Toronto the all-new East Edmonton Mall.
We'll sing we love you, you're a jumbo hero sandwich
Top it off with Peter Mansbridge
Two huskies and a bucket of poutine
Canada we love you so much it doesn't matter
You're a frigid, spineless pawn for Wall Street and the Pentagon...
But, geez, we love you!

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